atlanta traffic + baby Target = sailor mouth

so tonight, She and i needed a Target run. {we ALWAYS need a Target run. even when we DON'T need a Target run.} i erroneously thought it would be fun to go to baby Target near campus. we could deliver an Amazon package or six to my nephew who lives on FSU's campus and grab dinner.

the trouble started less than a mile from the house. Traffic. at 7:20pm. like we were in Atlanta, only we were on Tennessee Street. lanes backed up. surely there was an accident causing gridlock in tallahassee. not. even. close. a turn lane at stadium drive backed up to woodward. yes ma'am. and it took me about 12 minutes to figure it out and move over a lane. {first instance of sailor mouth.}

so, 27 minutes and 3.5 miles later, after multiple left turns to find a u-turn to come back to the plaza since i MISSED the direct turn, we arrived. did i mention we somehow ended up turning into fraternity village? freudian, i'm certain. {second, third & fourth instance of sailor mouth.}

now, i've only been to baby Target once. i should have remembered that it was a BABY TARGET catering to students ~ not middle age moms with an 8 year old in tow. did i mention we only needed three things and i thought it would be fun? cotton rounds, face scrub and gatorade. and what we got was cotton rounds, face scrub, gatorade, a 20 pack of earrings {for her}, a necklace {for me}, fancy earrings {for her art teacher}, a cool t-shirt {for my niece}, double stuff oreos {family pack}, a minecraft squishy {overpriced, for her} and clearance sunscreen.

i made several observations during our stroll around baby Target.

1. clearance sunscreen (70% off, natch) and tiny bikinis galore. {sweet girl, when that burns, it will hurt and you will pay alot of money to a dermatologist one day.}

2. one side of one aisle of toys. {this actually worked to my advantage.}

3. double stuffed Oreos. {i don't care who you are or how old you are. EVERYONE loves Oreos.}

4. no old school, 3x5 valentines and lots of BIG stuffed animals. {boo hiss.}

5. no Magnolia Home or Opal House. {fifth instance of sailor mouth.}

6. eleventy hundred self checkout lanes and one cute boy manning a REAL register. {bonus points for cute boy.}

7. crap drivers in the parking lot. (sixth & final instance of sailor mouth.}

8. did i mention the baby shopping carts in the baby Target?

so, while she spent $20 and spent hours (i mean minutes) in the Sugar Bauble Bar, i longed for my Target. The big girl Target. the one with the carts that hold babies and all of my sh*t from Hearth & Hand that i didn't need. the one with eleventy hundred real checkout lanes and only 4 self-checkouts. the one with middle-age moms with 8 year olds in tow. the one with supercute 3x5 valentines. and giant stuffed animals. and a Sugar Bauble Bar. because this mom loves a good bauble now and then.