UNIVERSAL {service} failure. And a beautiful bride.

so, Said Boy, She & i spent last weekend in Orlando. our primary reason for travel was to attend the wedding of a very special woman but hey, when in Orlando .... over a long weekend ....

as a surprise, i got passes {with UNLIMITED EXPRESS} to Universal. in full disclosure, we have become that Florida family with Disney passes. A|mouseears|P they call us. but i digress. here are several observations about our Universal experience:

OBSERVATION 1. somebody at Universal needs to visit the Disney Institute to get some basic service training. my only regret is that we didn't videotape the following, real-life encounters with Universal associates. Disclaimer ~ these are only a random sample of the service failures we encountered. After the first five, we decided to just start asking random stuff to gauge responses.

Scenario: 8:18 a.m. we get to go into the park one hour early as a treat for spending extra $$ to stay on property. apparently one hour early = limited rides. {NOTE: Extra Magic Hours at Disney means magic on ANY ride.} approach two girls working the Minions ride: "Can you tell us which rides are currently open?" answer: "Uh, I don't really know what's open."

Scenario: 9:06 a.m. Said Boy asks for directions to ET. gets them from an informed Universal associate. 9:14 a.m. arrive at Woody Woodpecker Kids Zone to ride ET to discover that WWKZ doesn't open until 10:00 a.m. ~ ONE.FULL.HOUR after park opens to public. informed associate was not so well informed.

Scenario: 9:18 a.m. spot Daigon Alley across "Central Park" from where we are standing. ask associate working the kiosk RIGHT IN FRONT OF CENTRAL PARK if we can go through Central Park to get to Daigon Alley. "Oh, I don't really know, but you can try I guess."

Scenario: 11:22 a.m. after winding through the "we are going to force|charge you to rent a locker for your tiny purse" line at Harry Potter's Forbidden Journey, we get to divert to the Express line where Ms. Universal Associate examines our tickets before asking ME where the date on the ticket was. to which i pointed to the top of the ticket where date was clearly printed. to which she stated "these expired on February 15." to which i stated, "no, they were issued on the 15th. they expire 179 days from the 15th as you can see HERE" (pointing to that language on the ticket.). to which she exhaled loudly and said "oh. ok. you can go ahead." NO SHIT. i don't work at Universal and i knew that. she DOES work at Universal and didn't.

Scenario. 3:45 p.m. at pool and ask passing attendant if we need to order at bar. attendant answers and kicks a plastic cup on the ground as he walks away. he bent down to pick the trash up ONLY TO LEAVE IT ON A TABLE FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO DEAL WITH.

OBSERVATION 2. you should have your tickets voided and you should be shown the exit if you show up at Universal sporting all things Disney. Seriously. do you see people at Disney parks in Harry Potter garb? it's the equivalent of wearing Chanel {rest in peace, Karl Lagerfeld} to a Gaultier show.

OBSERVATION 3. Universal's food is FAR superior to Disney's. sorry Mickey. and the watermelon was as good as it looks.

OBSERVATION 4. Universal's parking and park entry process is FAR superior to Disney's. sorry again Mickey.

OBSERVATION 5. MagicBands are FAR superior to a paper tickets that must be inspected and scanned 19 times to get on a ride. sorry Dumbledore.

OBSERVATION 6. your parents paid WAY TOO MUCH money for you to be on your phone instead of in line for a ride. count 'em. maybe they are playing Minion Rush? i doubt it. probably snapchatting the person sitting right next to them. OMG I sound old. wait. i am.

OBSERVATION 7. i am very concerned for adults who dress in full on Harry Potter garb (including the interactive wand) when it isn't Halloween. especially those with no discernible accompanying children dressed as same.

OBSERVATION 8. for the price we paid for the Unlimited Express option, i don't expect to wait 40 minutes in line for a 40 second ride. i can't make that math work.

OBSERVATION 9. it is my opinion no one from Universal has ever put themselves through a guest's experience. or they would have never configured the force|charge locker area the way it is. what a COMPLETE cluster. and they would have had recommended some signage to tell you where the fun is located.

OBSERVATION 10. if i were Karl Lagerfeld's cat Choupette, we could have gone the VIP experience route. but then we would have missed all of the fun.

FINAL OBSERVATION. She was the cutest flower to the most beautiful bride. but then again, i am biased.

KATIE&JASON

wedding

winery

stella_Flowergirl